Nondescript.

Well, once again, this has no real topic or feature.

I'm not writing about beauty products, or Lush baths, or what I've bought recently, this is just a catch up/rambling/wondering what the hell I am doing.

I can't actually bring myself to write at all anymore. Everything's gone. All motivation, inspiration and words.

I feel like I am just floating through one disaster to the next. I'm still me though, which means I am still holding on to that little bit of hope that things HAVE to get better.

This year has been incredible. I can't believe we're in April. 4 months into, genuinely, the worst year of my life.

I have already written this year off completely. This post is going to sound like a total pity party, but it's really not, I just have no idea what the hell is going on anymore. I have no control over anything and I have seriously just lost any kind of normalcy I ever had about me.

After my nan, I thought we had to be done with our bad luck for the year. Then my Pop's started acting weird, ignoring us, not talking, mood swings, forgetfulness. At first we put it down to grief and annoyance that we were always there and he never had a minute to himself, we were smothering him, but we love him so much that it was so hard not to. Then he started struggling to walk, which was weird because it just came from nowhere, so my mum and Aunty took him to the hospital and he was kept in for tests, he was in for around 4/5 days but all tests came back fine and then he forgot any of us had even been in to visit him and the doctors finally scanned his brain and he was transferred to another hospital immediately for surgery, he had a massive bleed on his brain.

I HATE admitting this, but I truly believe in real life, real, real love and that is because of my Nan & Grandad, and I believe when one goes, it seriously is like a part of the one left behind goes too and I believe a broken heart can kill you, obviously, your heart doesn't physically break in two, but you just give up, what else is there when you are only half of a whole and you'll never be complete again? I get it, and its terrifying, because I seriously, for a bit, thought that was it, my Pop's was going to give up. I don't think I could have coped at all with that. Amazingly, hours after surgery, he was completely himself, better than I had ever seen him since my Nan passed away, it was insane!! But I am so, so thankful and grateful to still have him singing to me and slow dancing with me (even if I can't stand on his feet anymore!) and making me breakfast or making me sit through sky sports news ALL afternoon, I will NEVER take that for granted again!

If I ever find a real man, that is ever even half of the man my Grandad is, I will be the luckiest girl alive.

I don't know where it came from, I'm not one for dates and all that stuff, it's just not for me, I just want to be able to lay in bed in my comfies, cuddled up, having the odd squabble watching shit tv and eating food. That to me, is perfect. But yeah, so, I went on a date, I wouldn't really call it a date though, because I kinda knew him anyway so I guess it was like a catch up with a drink, and it was weird because I was so nervous and scared and I actually ended up having a lot of fun and I didn't want it to end. Normally, in that situation, I am dying to get away and it feels like the longest couple of hours ever but this was easy. I should have known then that I wasn't in the right mind to start seeing someone, I don't just like someone straight off, I have to get to know them first, that's what my best mates say about me, I'm all in or all out, there is no inbetween so I don't usually take 'dating' very seriously because, I always get to know them first then it just kind of...goes one way or the other. I don't like not knowing where I stand or what the other person thinks of the situation, I can be quite closed off but jeez, when it's like getting blood from a stone it does things to my brain haha. Like, I don't get it at all, like if you say you like me then okay, but if you don't then don't say you do... Is that not just general human decency?  Anyway yeah thats neither here nor there with this situation.

I was having the shittest time, all of this stuff with my grandad was going down and you know when you need to just be out of it? like, away from your reality, not with your friends, not with your family, just away, with someone who makes you feel good and is nice, and not a part of the shit stuff? I guess this was that and I was so grateful for it and kind of lost my footing, I turned into something I'm not, I came across needy and clingy and not me. HOWEVER, when I do think I've done someone's head in, and they're just like, letting me carry on thinking that and just stop responding - I know that's a hint, but then when they do respond and they're nice, it's confusing, I can't settle, I worry, not if it's someone I don't give a shit about obviously, but if I care about you, you'll know about it, I have to fix the relationships I have, I don't like bad feelings so I just try and try and I get annoying. I know that's my own doing but I got too much, and I know it, and I am seriously kicking myself for it, but my head just wasn't/isn't right. It's such a shame, this person was so nice to be around, just listening to the things they were saying and the way they'd talk, made me want to be better and nicer, it's weird. I guess different people bring different things out in you, especially new people. It's also a shame we can't be friends. It was good to talk music and vinyl and shitty movies and tv shows and whatever other random crap came up. There are some people you just can't say a bad word about. And it's nice.  Ah well, if you fuck up all you can do is try I guess!

Somewhere in the middle of my grandad, oh, and me turning into a bunny boiler, I got sick. Really sick. I also think half of the bunny boiler in me was born out of boredom and being alone all the time while I was sick, because spending 3 weeks alone is pretty rough - and I bloody love being alone!

I thought I had eaten gluten as I woke up in the middle of the night with stomach pains, then I started being sick....and didn't stop for about 27 hours - yes, that specific, it felt like a lifetime to me! But my stomach was still hurting so bad. I thought I had pulled a muscle or something from being sick, so I went to the doctor, who sent me for bloods and they came back a little weird, so needless to say I still don't know what's wrong with me, I have to go for more tests in a couple of weeks to keep my eye on my levels so they can build a pattern...yay, don't ya just love being stabbed with a needle?!

So yeah, that's where I'm at right now. I don't really know anything about anything, I just have more questions than answers.

I do have one of my best friends constantly at my side lately though, he buy's me weird tea and we make plans and I think he's right, I just need to get away. Away, away though, and for a while. I am seriously considering it. There's just nothing here and what is here is a mess. I just can't seem to make anything right so maybe a step back is just what I need to do. Then come back when I'm fresh and focused. I want to start a real life now, I'm so over going out and getting drunk and living like a teenager. I'm not. I'm 27 now - oh yeah, my birthday was all up in the middle of that big ol' mess! haha! I want to start my life. I'm not saying I want to get married and have 10 babies this year or anything, but you know, I'm not doing anything notable or anything I'm going to be so grateful I did when I look back in 50 years, know what I mean?


Well, I'm off to google places to run away to, so fed up of being stuck nowhere!

I actually feel a bit better and happier at the end of this essay! I feel like I've made a decision to do something for myself!!!

It's Getting Closer...

Well, Christmas is well and truly on it's way!

I love Christmas. I just love it. But seriously, where has this year gone?!?!

I seemed to have blinked and it's just completely flown by me.

I've been pretty crappy the last couple of weeks, keep getting sick and I'm sick right now in bed, with a towel on my head procrastinating. I need to dry my hair to go to work but I just feel awful and really don't want to.

I haven't posted in a while so thought I would just write a little quick catch up.

I've really not been up to much, working and being sick is about the jist of it.

Oh! I did go see Mariachi El Bronx last week though with one of my best mates. They were SO, SO, SO good!! I had THE best night!....the next day definitely wasn't so much fun :s

Other than that, I've seriously not done much which is a kinda rubbish way to end a year.

But hey, that can all change in a second so hopefully I'll be feeling better soon and can actually do something fun!

I got a snap the other day of a local paper from someone who has been gone for a long time.... I mean we stayed in touch but they're back from their travels!! So that was nice! I don't know why this made me so happy but it did!

I can't think of what else to say other than I may try add to this later because I have to go dry my hair and go to work, which sucks. I would much rather stay in bed where I can puke alone, not in front of a shop full of customers....I can just see it now....Oh, why do I think these things?.. haha! This better not happen to me now!

Anyways,

Laters!

Because Sometimes...

Because Sometimes... by thebellejarblog featuring scented candles

Because sometimes I just need to be alone, and eat pizza, and drink hot chocolate, and watch girly movies in bed all cosy. I also invite a friend on the odd occasion!

I seriously love winter and love cosy nights in in my PJ's.

I love winter clothes, big jumpers and boots and stuff are the best but you just can't beat a good cosy pair of pjs and slippers or socks as the nights grow longer and colder!

I cant be the only one?!

Do you do this too?! 

What movies/snacks would you choose??

xo

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....

It's off to work I go!!

Ok, so I've been looking for a job for a while now and let me tell you, it is NOT easy.

The only way you seem to be able to get a job these days is through someone you know, which is extremely frustrating!!

I absolutely HATE job searching, and it's not like there are new vacancies every single day.

It just gets really old, really fast and it really, really gets you down.

I've done hair here and there, but I can't imagine working in a salon. Doing hair was something I enjoyed doing, but my college experience ruined it. My course was completely rushed and I recently found out we were taught in shortcuts and the people who went back for level 3 had to be taught the real way to do things, so that was a total blow and I've lost confidence in myself because I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, even though I know I actually do because I actually read up and watched videos and demo's constantly.

ANYWAY.

I have a job finally!

And I think I'm gonna really like it! It's an unusual one, which I like, and I get to learn loads and travel a bit.

People are going to have opinions on this no matter what, because people always do and that's fine, I have my own opinion, so you're more than welcome to have your own but I'm still excited and find it really interesting.

I'm going to be a tobacconist.

The shop I will be working in is almost 200 years old!!

I am so excited to start tomorrow, I get to learn about pipes, cigars, tobacco....and my personal favourite, whiskey!!

I'm obviously very nervous, it's never fun being the new kid on the block but I've already done a trial shift with the people who work there and it all seems pretty interesting and the people are nice!! Which is always good!

I am so glad this is something I can get my teeth into! I've missed learning and I have been told apparently there is a qualification I can go for, 'masters of cigars', and I would be the first girl to do it! So, obviously, I want to do it so bad, and be the first girl!

It does seem like a pretty male dominated industry but I really want to get into it and become a specialist!

But we all know, besides the money, the best part of a new job is, of course, shopping for new clothes!

I have to wear black or black and white, which is fine because I live in black anyway so I already had a lot of stuff in but I ran out and got myself some pretty darn cute brogues and some trousers and I have to say, they look pretty snazzy on. I love the men's tailored look and I think that's what I'm going to be investing in, because I plan on staying in this job until I've literally done all I can with it...which I hope is never, because there will always be more to learn and more products coming out, new techniques etc.

So yeah, blazers, boyfriend coats, brogues, loafers, trousers, crisp white shirts! I can't wait to get paid!

I also needed a coat but was pretty strapped for cash, I looked everywhere, even good ol' Primark and just couldn't find one I liked, I wanted smart but structured, what's with all the weird fuzzy and bobbly textures this season?? Anyway I never think to look in Forever 21 for coats...I don't know why but I went in and there on the sale rail was a black, military/nautical boyfriend coat in my size! PERFECT! looked at the tag and it was reduced from £47.75 to £22.99 so I grabbed it and ran to the till.....rang up at £16. Was the best day ever!
I always struggle finding coats but this is a keeper! I'm not a huge fan of the gold buttons but I've pressed the collar so it is more 'boyfriend' style because I'll only wear it open anyway and I love it!!!

Forever 21 coat

G21 at Asda Pants

F&F Brogues.

I just thought I'd write this post as a little update! 

I think I may do a 'Back to Work' outfit post/series??

Autumn Leaves

I am so, so, so, so, so, annoyingly happy as I am writing this.

I think my family are grateful I've gone away to write.

Anyway.

Autumn is my absolute favourite season. I love it so, so much. If you are around me or meet me in autumn, you will get the best possible version of me!

I love wrapping up toasty with coats and hats and scarves etc.

I just love everything about it!!! I just feel so content and happy in autumn!!

I also weirdly eat a lot better in autumn. All I want to eat is orange things!

I'm constantly finding recipes for sweet potatoes, squashes, PUMPKIN! Loads!!

I love it, and I use a lot of sage and cinnamon too! ( I make a LOT of cinnamon rolls in autumn/winter, so I don't eat all that good... gluten free and vegan though! )

(They taste amazing, trust me.)

Heaven!

I am now officially in autumn mode because today when I went to the shops, my favourite candles of all time were back in!!!

They only sell them around Halloween and then they disappear for a year! I'm stocking up this time!

PUMPKIN SPICE HALLOWEEN CANDLES!!!!!

They used to only do little ones for 69p but this year I've found 18oz jars!!..... for £2.99!!!!!!!!

I am obsessed. They smell so, so good! Normally I find pumpkin spiced things are too heavily spiced with cinnamon or cloves (vom) but these smell good enough to eat!!!!

Also another reason I love autumn...HALLOWEEN!!! I love Halloween, it's very rare I do anything because it always turns out to be a hype then a let down but I love sitting in watching horror movies with Halloween treats and seeing all the kids dressed up trick or treating!!


And I love the all the berry colours that come out to play. I wear them all year round anyway, but I wear them practically every day in autumn!!

I also love cosy nights in with my favourite tea's! 

Cosy, Cosy.

So yes, this is basically a 'WHY I LOVE AUTUMN' post!!

I LOVE it.

I'm going to end it there because I am too excited!!!

Binge Watching.

SO, I have been doing a lot of binge watching lately due to being sick and generally having a bit of a shit time.

I am a big horror fan, BUT, I think it is actually really hard to be a horror fan. Most horrors are shit.

I mean Paranormal Activity started out looking promising...then they gave it a story line. I know this sounds ridiculous but I hate that it had a story line. I mean, I think it would have just been so much scarier if they were just haunted. You know what I mean? Things are so much scarier when there is no explanation and stuff is just happening. Yeah, it was attached to her and that's fine, but could it not have just attached itself to her because it's an evil demon and can? It couldn't just pick her and that be that? Ugh, there was so much room for my imagination to run wild with that but the story line ruined it for me. Bad times.

I did watch The Possession Of Michael King the other day with my mate, he thought it was pretty scary, and it kinda was....until like 3/4 of the way in. I don't wanna ruin this for you so I won't, but once again, if I had just seen whatever happening and didn't hear it too, it would have been much scarier. I did think it was alright though.

Obviously this is just my opinion and I can scare the crap out of myself pretty easily if I want to, but horror films lack that for me. Once you clarify that there is a justified reason for these 'happenings' shall we say? then I lose all interest and you just ruined the whole movie for me, it's not longer scary.

I understand this doesn't work for everything. Like The Conjuring, watched it soooo many times and I think it's actually pretty decent but why couldn't it just be like 'Oh, this house has evil spirits in it'....etc, I don';t need to know why they're there or about curses just OMG THIS IS HAPPENING WHAAAAAAT??? Mad, how scary.

I don't know. I am in no way a film expert. I just think I would like to finish a film sometime still being scared and playing parts over and over in my head when I go to bed and thinking about what else could have happened?? You know?

Anyway.

All About Evil. Not a horror as such. Well yeah, I guess it kind of fits into Comedy Horror. I seriously LOVE this film. I obviously don't watch it to get scared but hey, Natasha Lyonne is in it (I ADORE her), and I just think it has a really cool old school feel about it! Even the colours and the setting have that old horror vibe.

I have also become addicted to Parks and Recreation. I mean addicted. I love it. It never fails to make me laugh. The Pawnee Zoo ep has to be my favourite so far!! I just love Amy Poehler so, so much. Aubrey Plaza is hiarious in it too, her character doesn't really do much in the first season but she gets so much better!!

Also loving Banged Up Abroad. This is my mates doing. He's been watching it again and now that it's on youtube it's always there so if I'm bored I'll shove one on. It makes me so angry though, because Everyone's like 'OMG it must be so horrible being locked up abroad and the prisons must be awful' but er....like 75% of the time, it's like, 'Well, maybe don't do shit you know is illegal??'. Snakes on a Plane. What an ep. I fumed through this whole episode and literally would punch this guy if I saw him. Unlikely, but I would.

Anything you've been loving lately???

August Favourites.

Some of my favourites this month.


I have a fair few lip products but to be honest I mainly stick to what I'm comfortable with everyday. However, I've been playing around this month, I'm seriously loving either really red, or dark lips.

Here are my faves at the moment!!

L-R; MUA Luxe Velvet Lips in Kooky and Reckless, MUA matte in Fawn Fancy, Collection in Revenge and E.L.F Lip Definer & Shaper.

Matte Lips are my all time favourite ever. I just find them a lot less messy. 

Kooky and Reckless are the two shades I just HAD to have when I first saw the MUA velvets online and they didn't disappoint!!

I wear the MUA Matte Fancy Fawn all the time, this is just a great everyday lipstick, it's really subtle.

Now, I was feeling brave and I am a total goth at heart, so I bought this Collection Lipstick in 'Revenge' a while ago, this isn't matte but it is absolutely beautiful, it's not as dark as I expected but more of a dark red, wine colour. I love it. It's perfect for nights out!

The E.L.F Lips Definer & Shaper seriously helps if you want that Kylie Jenner effect! I am obsessed with this.

L-R; MakeUp Revolution Rebel With A Cause, Rimmel Kate 107, MAC Satin Red, MAC Hue.

Rebel With A Cause is a new one I've found just in this last week, and it is honestly a gorgeous colour, I'm not sure about the consistency yet, but that may just be because I love matte too much, but as I said, amazing colour, and for £1 who can complain?!

These three I have had for a while now and I haven't paid them as much attention as I maybe should have, but I have rediscovered them this last month!

The Kate Moss one is just amazing. I don't even know what to say because it's just so perfect for me! I even put this on under 'Revenge' for a deeper colour, and it lasts a little longer then too!

MAC. Well, to be honest, I'm so bored of MAC lipstick, you can get so many quality dupes for such a better price. BUT I do love the ones I have, Satin red is just SO red, I really like it, but I don't like that its not matte.....and although I just said I'm bored of MAC lipsticks, I am seriously considering Ruby Woo. It is matte and just a seriously gorgeous shade and I haven't found a dupe that I love.
  Then we have Hue, I really like Hue, this is just a simple, everyday colour .

L-R; Illamasqua cream blusher 'Rude', MakeUp Revolution blusher 'Treat', Eyelure Brow Shapers, (bottom left) MakeUp Revolution Mono Eyeshadow Eden.

So I've only just got my hands on MakeUp Revolution and I must admit, I really like it so far! This blusher goes a long way so I only need a tiny bit but it gives me a lovely fresh glow and the eyeshadow is just the most gorgeous green, perfect for a smokey eye with a little bit of colour.

Eyelure Brow Shapers have saved me! We all know how scary it is when you have good brows and you go get them done and you're terrified it's gonna go wrong....well mine did at christmas and my left one still hasn't recovered so I really don't feel like going to get them done any time soon. I found these in Superdrug for about...maybe £3? and they're so good! they're shaped with an arch and luckily it suit my eyebrows perfectly! I got my friend to do mine for me and they worked a treat and I still have all the eyebrows I want but just a lot neater!!

And my trusty Illamasqua cream blusher! Best bargain I think I've bought this year, was £5 in the sale and a little goes a long way!! I use my small E.L.F stipple brush to apply it and it lasts all day!

Barry M Nail Paint Raspberry

This is literally all I have worn all summer long! One of my favourite all time nail colours!!

Favourite snack and drinks right now!!! This Elderflower water from Aldi is a hangover godsend!! I hate normal water but I can drink about 3 bottles of this a day! I probably shouldn't, but I do so....

And Peanut Butter M&M's like seriously, I found these in B&M for £1 a box.... I stocked up....

Oh...and some of my favourite books in the background there....

So there you have it! My August favourites!!

InstaWeek2

Wow, I'm actually carrying on with this instagram thing... 

SO yeah, it's not been the most eventful of weeks...well, actually it has but these pictures didn't quite capture the good times, because I was, well, you know, living them haha.

Ahh this week has been pretty pleasant actually. It started well and has ended well!

Tuesday was steak night so me and two of my bestest went for steak and a drink and to watch a bit of football.  Marvellous as usual and so nice to catch up! Then one of my friends left and Vicky and I went off to see our good bud Ogo at open mic in Hannah's bar and had a cocktail or two!

Then I took a picture of the 'Wig-Wam' Cathedral while we waited for our cab. I love that about Liverpool, you stand on Hope Street and you can see a Cathedral either end! I think that's pretty special!

SO I have this thing for Robert De Niro. I love him. So I watched The Deer Hunter. If you haven't seen it, you should give it a gander it's pretty bloody good!!

If you know me and are reading this then you'll probably be sick of my adoration for Natasha Lyonne. Ican't even help it though. I love her even more than De Niro. I just think she's incredible and I whole heartedly love her as Nicky in OITNB (obviously) but watching interviews with her and stuff, she's pretty amazing, and I totally want to be her best mate, and that accent!!! It's my favourite. (But yeah, LOVE Slums of Beverly Hills)

This was my Friday.

This is my best mate. My Nan. Janet. Took her shopping on Saturday morning, which is always hilarious because my Grandad does his own thing and walks off with the trolley and she's usually gabbing away and doesn't realise. Also, that cardigan she's wearing, I wore it to her house one time and she made me go buy her the same one. Twinz. 

Still couldn't get rid of the green tinge in my hair from the Washed Up Mermaid so I shoved a bottle of Rose on it again to try and fade it out again...hoping it works this time. So, yeah, I have pink hair at the minute!! Fun fun....

Saturday night. Well, Saturday night turned out to be a lot more than I expected. I haven't laughed that much in a long time! Spent the night listening to old music on YouTube and being hilariously serenaded until about 5am. It was the best. ever.

Had a lazy Sunday chilling with my family and trying to tune my little uke. Wish I could re-do the end of this week again right now. Definitely got Monday blues creeping in but I'm hoping for more of the same next week!!

My Week On Instagram

SO I'm having a bit of a weird one lately. Bit up, bit down, bit in between :/ if that makes any sense?

I can't focus on one thing to write about and haven't been able to for a while so I thought I'd do a week on Instagram. I do love Instagram.

Here we go then...

I LOVE ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK.

I finished the second series after re watching the first and I just love it. Nicky has to be my favourite (I'm only slightly biased because I love Natasha Lyonne).

Had a night in with a bottle of gin and one of my best and we watched youtube clips and listened to music all night. Was actually one of the best nights I've had in a long time. Needless to say, we needed some refreshments the morning after so went to the shop and ended up buying whatever orange flavoured stuff we saw.

I wanted to eat bad stuff and I've been so good that when I needed, and I mean NEEDED pizza I put on a crop and pencil skirt to remind me not to eat the pizza!!

Stayed on the healthy wagon....

So this happened and I fangirled a lot harder than I probably knew I could.

Found old pic's and yeah, my bedroom door was sooooo cool when I was 14.

Had plans...then I didn't... so sorted my mush and watched some more Natasha Lyonne films.

Stubborn green hair :|

Had a nice little Saturday afternoon with my Pop's. If you didn't know, my Grandad is my favourite man in the world.

Then the pie got a shower. 

So there was a little glimpse of my week...not the most exciting but I like weeks like this!!

Send over your Instagrams! I'm at Sarahhhh88

xo

Man! I Feel Like A Woman

WELL, let me explain a little here..... I am constantly being moaned at or told I dress like a boy.

I DO NOT CARE.

I've been making effort since Christmas and bought some dresses and stuff for when I go on nights out, but to be completely honest, I feel like a bit of a fake when I wear them.

I DO wear dresses, I like dresses, but I just don't feel right 'dressed up', if you know what I mean?

I can do casual/dressy no problemo, but, I don't know, I'm not the kind of girl who sits around all day with her rollers in getting ready. I do indulge in the odd bit of tan and will occasionally curl my hair or put rollers in my fringe, but that's about it!

I don't ever enjoy myself if I'm dressed up, I'm constantly aware of my dress or shoes or bag or whatever, it's so annoying. I used to wish I was one of those girls, but I really don't care for it, I've tried to be and it's just not me!

I'm so much happier in jeans and a top or a DRESS and tights and boots, and my trusty leather jacket.

I used to dress up because I felt bad because me and one friend in particular go out all the time together and she loves dressing up and all that and because I didn't, she wouldn't.

She says dressing up  makes her feel 'sexy' and I suppose if people are always coming up and chatting you up then I guess that's how you'll feel but I HATE that kind of thing, I'm really awkward and if anyone comes over I automatically just cringe. I hate the word 'sexy' because I don't think I need to feel sexy at all, but I probably have felt my sexiest ever when I have been comfortable, whether that was in pj's or a jumper or I don't know, a onesie?! haha but that's all down to the situation, I don't feel sexy having to constantly pull my dress down or my feet are throbbing. She doesn't get that though. Some people just have 'sexy' about them I guess.

I suppose it does all come back around to boys, the boys I know, well  the ones I would even consider going near, aren't really interested in if I wear heels, or a dress, or make up. The boy's I like have said it doesn't matter what I look like dolled up, I'm better without it all, and that's how I feel too. I told her this and she was like, "Nah, boy's say that but they all love it when a girl has the wow factor. You should look amazing when you next see him!' Now, this specific person we were talking about, if I dressed up all glam and girly would just look at me like 'Why are you doing this? Who are you?!' He has seen me dressed up plenty for special occasions, and has seen me at my worst, first thing in the morning, and he's probably even seen me vomm a few times, but he has told me I'm fine just the way I am, and he always tells me this.  Maybe people don't tell her that and that's why she thinks that, but I've always had people around me , who KNOW me, and like that about me. Maybe I need to be that person? I'll give it a go. I don't like the thought of dressing up for a boy to look at me and ARGH I don't know! haha I'm rambling on here but yeah, I like being comfortable, then I can be myself, if people don't like that then you know, they can fuck off maybe?!

Anyway, I thought I'd share a couple of little posts on my 'comfy clothes' and my 'going out' clothes - not the girly ones, the ME ones.

Then maybe some people will see, I don't actually dress like a boy. I wear skirts, and make up, and dresses and tights and ballet pumps and I enjoy wearing all of it! I just prefer to wear it all with a leather jacket and comfortable shoes!!

:)

I'll write a shoe post next, just didn't want to make this any longer than it already is!!

Sunday.....

Hmmm... I still havent really figured my blog out. I don't really know what it about or if it's even about anything in particular at all and my posts are pretty sparse because sometimes...... I just don't know what to write.

So, I think I might start a Sunday summary kind of post so that I can at least write one post a week.

I guess it will probably just be about what I've been up to and that sort of stuff. (they may be picture heavy occasionally with drunk/trashy pics!)

SO yeah, here goes week 1.

This has been a weird week, I've not actually done that much...

 I've kind of been unofficially offered two jobs, so that's good...because I'm skint. But we'll see if anything actually  happens with them.....

Went out last Saturday with my two best friends and it was such a good night! Even if my feet were in agony the next day! Thats what dancing in heels til 6am does to you!!

Then had a little girly night in with Vicky on Friday watching tv which was nice!

Saturday and today were pretty sweet, actually, pretty amazing. But a bit of a mess. Oh, and I just happened to fall down the stairs - infront of someone!!! Embarrassing doesnt even cut it. Oopsyyy.

However, I've just had one of those moments when you say something and as soon as the words leave your lips you want to shove them back in, ARGH!!!!

Well here's some pictures from this week!!

Little bit of Christmas in Liverpool

And a couple from Halloween

So yeah, that's about it! :)