If You're Happy & You Know It Clap Your Hands.....

Are you happy?

I never know where I am to be honest.

Sometimes I am really, really happy and will just get a little light bulb moment and I'll stop in my tracks and  just grin and feel soooo good, then other times, not so much.

I plan on my little light bulb moment becoming a more permanent fixture this year. Obviously I know you can't be happy ALL the time. But why not like 99% of the time??

I've let other people bring me down and make me feel insecure and sad and really bad about myself, be that me feeling like I'm not good enough for them or about how I look.

I've decided no more though. Enough is enough.  I'm at a point where I've stopped and had a word with myself.

I had to question why certain people could make me feel certain ways, and then I realised, it was because I let them.

I was always really down and it was horrible. I struggle with anxiety and depression anyway, but it wasn't that.

They made me feel soooo good when we first met and then that wore off pretty quickly so I started putting it down to me, I was doing everything wrong, I must have changed in some way?? It never occurred to me that it was the other person changing. So I tried and tried and still couldn't figure it out, which brought me even lower because if I didn't know what it was, how could I fix it?

It's only recently I realised how much of my time I actually spent feeling really sad about how this now completely insignificant person thought/felt about me.

What a waste!!!!

All those nights I sat in my room not wanting to leave, I could have been out, moving on, moving up!

It made me really angry that I actually wasted my time in the first place, but you learn and grow I guess, so it wasn't a total waste, just went on a lot longer than it should have.

I know now, that anything is an upgrade from that situation and as long as I can be happy with myself, if someone does change the way they think/feel about me then there's not a lot I can do about that. That's them, not me. So I don't think I'll be wasting much more time worrying about it.

Life really is just too short to waste time worrying about other people you have no control over.

I'm moving on and feel pretty good about it, out with the old in with the new ;)

The funny thing is, I now know it wasn't me at all. I tried and was nothing but nice. I suppose some people will always just be wolves in sheep's clothing.

So, FUCK IT. Just LIVE and breathe and be grateful for the good things you have in life....If you stop and think about it, you'll see you have a lot more than you realise.

I am so thankful for who and what I have, I really am a lucky girl.

Happy New Year.

SO, here it is....2013. We made it! haha!

2012 was an odd one.

Started off the year with a pretty grim outlook BUT, turns out it wasn't that bad of a year!

Made some new friends, made some decisions and  things started to look up after my birthday!

Got accepted onto my college course I've been applying to get on for the last few years! Finally get to do hairdressing and start making some pennies!!

Talked to this weirdo til 6am by the water ... stayed in touch with that weirdo and got myself a boy :).

One of the sweetest, most annoying creatures I have ever had the pleasure of knowing...and I know some pretty annoying people.

Went on holiday with my Mum and sister and it overlapped with my best friend so we got to spend a whole day together drinking cocktails!

My other best friend had a new baby girl, who is the tiniest, most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

My cousin got an AMAZING new job in Abu Dhabi so I now have more reason to fly Emirates haha!

Looking back now at 2009/2010/2011, this year has been really quite easy and  I think that's why it has flown by. Other than me being ill for the last leg of it, 2012 brought some wonderful things with it, I feel like such a lucky girl, but now I can't wait to see what 2013 has to offer!! - LOADS I hope!

Hopefully some travel, better health, a job I love, and more happy times and happy people!!

I never stick to resolutions so I'm not even going to bother, I'm just setting myself a few small guidelines:

Make the most of every moment I have, even the bad times (occasionally I do LOVE a good argument to cleanse the mind! ha!), look after myself, no drinking unless it's a special occasion, eat better for better skin and overall health and a better immune system, enjoy the treats!, exercise and meditate more, sleep more, drink more water and last but not least, save some money!!!

Basically do all of these things to make myself happy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

hope you all have the best year ever and enjoy every moment!!